How often do you get that sinking feeling where you know that you can’t let your child do what they want, but you dread the potential conflict which comes with saying no? Maybe you avoid it and know you’ll have to face that internal (or external) criticism “You shouldn’t let them get away with that” “You’re too soft on them.” Maybe you charge in to get it over and done with and then have to deal with the waves of guilt or shame which come after when you hope the neighbours di
Are you in a family, surrounded by people, yet feeling so alone? Do you crave space and solitude yet also feel desperate for real connection?
Are you full of love and fulfillment from your children yet also have such a big hole where something is missing?
These seemingly opposite sentiments are a common combination for many parents. Despite being surrounded by those who you love more than anything in the world it can, nevertheless, feel very lonely at times and not just du
It’s not just you – this is how so many parents are feeling right now. Here’s a whole heap of reasons why. 1. Endoftermitus is rife right now which makes EVERYTHING a bit more heightened. The children are ready for the school holidays (even if you’re not) which means little things may be getting big (over) reactions from all family members. 2. Restrictions may be easing, but a couple of coffees with a friend and a night out is probably not enough to replenish your resources a
Guilt. When you become a parent it seems to come with the package. The feeling however much you do it is never enough and that you’re doing something wrong. Whether it’s guilt about how you handled your child’s behaviour, guilt about taking time out, food, routines, work…… There are so many different things which set it off. Now imagine the next time parent guilt hits you are able to ride that wave, gain something useful and then move forward positively. Sounds too good to b
In my blog “From Stress to Success - Positively Handling Conflict In Family Life” I wrote about the importance of preparation and how it can make a significant difference to how a conflict goes. This is something I encourage clients to break into 3 parts – before, during and after as at each stage a different response may be required. Also if you’re in a heightened state in the midst of a conflict neuroscience indicates that your best decisions may be based around what will c
Spring is here. Lockdown is easing. Days out and time with family and friends (albeit in a snowy garden at times) beckon. Surely we should feel relaxed and happy that life is finally returning to some sort of normality? BUT Have you found you’ve been feeling strangely unsettled or just a bit wobbly lately? Are your children are particularly emotional or their behaviour a little up and down at the moment despite all the nice things you’re doing? Perhaps that lovely day out you
Ask most parents what they want for their child and the answer is always something to do with being happy, able to make choices, do their best and thrive. Right now, when we’re in lockdown 3.0 and many parents who are hanging on by a fingernail just getting through the day is a challenge. Surviving feels a battle and thriving - that’s just what other people do on social media whilst you limp along just about making it through. In the midst of what has been a tough year for f